Slow Fade

Hello there, dear reader. How are you doing? There's definitely a lot going on in our world, I know. I hope you're thriving through it, I pray these travails end and peace is restored. Amen.

As you may have observed, writing is my best form of expression, and I thought to share some thoughts, an excerpt of what might become a book someday. Two quick things, One, "Slow Fade," the title of this blog post is named after one of my favorite songs, and two, whatever stories I write, "Brenda" is my favorite name to give my favorite character, I guess that would change at some point.

So, voila!

You're Brenda, and you love to read, you love to have information, but you’re unhealthily scared of learning because you’re nervous you’ll fail, and you hate to be proved wrong, so most of the information you ‘gather’ (in Zee’s voice) are usually superficial, nothing too deep. You hate that you’re unorganized, and though you know you’re unorganized, you detest when people say it about you because you’re scared you’ll be like your father. Your dad is absolutely amazing, so you don’t actually fear being like him, but you are scared of what genetics may have done in that regard. You hate that you pay so much attention to things that don’t really matter, like the size of your body parts, or the color of your skin. 

You dream of the time you’d walk to give a speech on your latest work, you'll walk with innermost peace and gait, and you won’t sweat what your speech would sound like. You will live a relatively quiet life, but your work will be loud, and renowned, and quality, and exceptional. You’ll write for a media agency, and it will be one of the most impressive moments of your life. You would love to explore lecturing at some point, what joy it would give you to impart people with learning; something you’ve always been so scared of doing for yourself. Buchi Emecheta and Chika Unigwe inspire you, Chika wrote ‘On black sisters’ street’, one of the most surreal works you’ve ever read, you couldn’t stop reading, even when you had an exam the next day. 

When you first started dating Zee, you looked to him to make you happy; Zee is a beautiful man with valid goals, valid emotions, and valid needs. Before meeting him, you had a dream of togetherness, and not like togetherness is absent, it’s just that togetherness takes different forms and shapes that you weren’t aware of, initially. You never really understood Zee in your first year of dating (your relationship will be four-years-old in December), you were all butterflies and jelly, and he’s never been like that. But, your love-drunk mind couldn’t comprehend why he wouldn’t have butterflies; you were mad at him half the time, for not having butterflies in his stomach. Thankfully, you’re growing, learning, and getting comfortable with love and its dynamism...

As you write, you're worried you might blow your cover; it's best to live in a shell, avoid the world, just do your thing your way, so you convince yourself that this is not you, you're only writing for a friend...