WHEN WE WERE YOUNG (3)
Next, Ahmadu "LeBron," told me to write about the stereotypes related to dating someone outside your tribe in Nigeria (and possibly Africa). I was like, "Voila! How could I forget this?"
According to https://answersafrica.com/nigerian-tribes.html, there are over 300 tribes in Nigeria. I think most or a considerable number of these tribes will prefer that whoever is getting married does so within their tribes. Some are very forceful about it, while some permit it when they realise there's nothing they can do.
I have tried to possibly see the reasons people may insist on intra-cultural dating and marriages. Some parents even discourage their kids from keeping friends from certain cultures or tribes;
- To "preserve " cultural values like the need to flog grown men to tears because of marriage.
- Experience with certain people from certain tribes.
- Many other reasons I haven't taken out time to research.
Today, despite civilisation, there's still a substantial number of tribes who still hold dearly to this culture.
So, when I was younger, my mom was particular about a certain culture that mustn't be "brought to her" when her daughters were going to get married. I was too young to understand, but as I understood, I defied that very rule simply because she made it.
Right now, I think my mom is better informed,and I can flout that very rule today, to Jesus be my glory.
What I'll advocate is building reliable relationships with people (beyond premarital relationships), relationships that defy tribes. The tribe should come up as trivially as it can get.
I made beautiful friends in school, and tribe didn't matter to me at all.
People attribute certain behaviours to certain tribes and I think it's a flawed way to think.
Finally, when you read this article, you could easily say "I don't do that tribalism thing," until you unconsciously say "that woman is dirty, because she's an Ebira woman," or "He's a coward because he's Yoruba."
That's the real you.
Thanks for reading, again.
Till the next time 💙💙💙
According to https://answersafrica.com/nigerian-tribes.html, there are over 300 tribes in Nigeria. I think most or a considerable number of these tribes will prefer that whoever is getting married does so within their tribes. Some are very forceful about it, while some permit it when they realise there's nothing they can do.
I have tried to possibly see the reasons people may insist on intra-cultural dating and marriages. Some parents even discourage their kids from keeping friends from certain cultures or tribes;
- To "preserve " cultural values like the need to flog grown men to tears because of marriage.
- Experience with certain people from certain tribes.
- Many other reasons I haven't taken out time to research.
Today, despite civilisation, there's still a substantial number of tribes who still hold dearly to this culture.
So, when I was younger, my mom was particular about a certain culture that mustn't be "brought to her" when her daughters were going to get married. I was too young to understand, but as I understood, I defied that very rule simply because she made it.
Right now, I think my mom is better informed,
What I'll advocate is building reliable relationships with people (beyond premarital relationships), relationships that defy tribes. The tribe should come up as trivially as it can get.
I made beautiful friends in school, and tribe didn't matter to me at all.
People attribute certain behaviours to certain tribes and I think it's a flawed way to think.
That's the real you.
Thanks for reading, again.
Till the next time 💙💙💙
I hope my parents especially my Dad is aware that I'm not bringing a Yoruba guy home oo😂
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you